I’ve been thinking about the difference between desire and longing. What if desire is the original impulse…not a desire *for* anything, but simply desire. What if longing is a twist of Maya – a belief that somehow to be in desire means we lack something, and therefore we long for it.
To long for God is to dis-remember that we are God. To long for anything is to disremember that all things are. All truths are true. Not everything is truth, but everything that is truth always, essence-tially *is*. And so, if I take away the specific longing, what is left is desire. “The vivifying bond between creator and created,” as Shankaranarayanan put it.
Perhaps that original desire had an aim; I could imagine it as the desire to evolve, or to become. Or perhaps that desire was nothing but desire – desire as a creative state. Either way, it doesn’t matter in terms of how I choose to embody it. Because if there was an original aim for desire, I don’t know what it was. And living as if there wasn’t one looks the same as living as if there was one that I don’t know about. I think it looks like moving from longing into desire.
So, what if I could do that? What if my longing, instead of taking me into feeling a lack, or into dreaming of satisfying the longing, or working to satisfy it…or even working to understand it…what if, instead, I let it take me into desire. If I could decline the habit of forgetting that All Is. If I could decline the habit of dreaming of What If. If I could decline the habit of forgetting that I am God. If I could decline the habit of dwelling in the past or in the future.
If I follow longing into desire, and desire is the creative state, will I then be “Enlightened”, whatever that means? Will I live, in the ordinary and extraordinary, as God? Or is that, too, a longing, that I could follow into desire instead of hanging out in the dream of. Maybe following longing into desire is how things get manifested.