One of the requirements for my Bachelor’s degree from Goddard College was what they call a “Senior Study” – a year-long, culminative writing project. I chose, for my senior study, to write a memoir about my healing journey: a decade of my experiments and experiences as I struggled to come to terms with sexual trauma from my childhood, depression, and suicidal behavior. The documenting of the journey was part of the healing; part of breaking silence, and the resulting work includes some critical writing, some memoir, some journal excerpts and some letters. Sharing parts of it in a presentation during my graduation was life-changing: fifty-some odd people in a packed room, listening to my voice, my story…my secrets that I kept for so long that I’d finally come to terms with and healed, and moved into sharing.
And then I came home from college and put my degree on the shelf and left that body of writing hidden away, where no one could read it except for a few close friends I’d offered it to. And then something happened – I got a letter from one of those friends. She’d devoured the whole thing in 3 days, and wrote to thank me for sharing it with her. She said “I am forever changed.”
Reading that had a huge impact on me. It took me back to my original motivation for writing the memoir – in part, yes, it was for my own healing. But it was also in part for others…for anyone else on a journey of healing and wholeness. And I hid it away, instead of offering it out to the world, in deference to the old habits of silence and perfectionism.
I kept silence for so many years; the breaking of it is one of my life-long journeys. It seems as if I’m always finding new levels of what “breaking silence” can mean. And one of the habits I developed to protect my silence is my intense perfectionism – if I’m not 100% sure it’s flawless, then it’s not ready to share, and I can rationalize staying silent a bit longer.
But this website is, among other things, an experiment in radical vulnerability. And I decided a long time ago that I wasn’t going to live in silence anymore. And so I’m offering this book, called “Metanoia: Reweaving Psyche in a Tantric Web of Story,” to the world. I’m sending it out with grace and love and a sprinkle of magic, and I believe that if my writing can touch even one life, it will be worth the risk of sharing it.
I’m asking for an exchange in return for this offering; because it is my soul-laid-bare; because I believe that is sacred, and because I believe that it is necessary to place value on things that are sacred.
You’re welcome to read the introduction before deciding whether or not you’d like to commit to the exchange. If you want to read the rest, it is now available as an ebook on Amazon.com; reach the page by clicking on the link below.
Note: this is an affiliate link; if you follow this link to amazon and purchase the book I will receive a higher percentage of the royalties than if you search it out on Amazon for yourself.