Whole Broken Heart

I was gifted a drum for my birthday this year. It’s an amazing instrument, I’m really quite in love with it. I’m not a musician, or a percussionist, and it’s not that kind of drum. It’s a drum for connecting; for meditating with; for allowing the vibration of its beating to move through my body and shift my perspective around to see things differently.

I spent some time with my drum this evening. I’ve developed a practice, sort of unintentionally, that when I am with the drum I unhook my critical mind and open my throat and my heart to sing, and inevitably I learn from what emerges in the song. Sometimes just tones and syllables emerge, and in them I hear my own current emotional state. And sometimes words emerge, and in them I find wisdom.

Tonight I sang the phrase “we are all one whole broken heart” and something clicked…something probably beyond words, but here’s an attempt, anyway.

In that moment, I felt my own broken heart. And I felt how each shard of it belongs to a beloved; how each break represents a love-interaction flavored with separation of some form or another. And I felt threads running through the breaks, weaving them into wholeness, and how each thread represents a love-interaction flavored with connection of some form or another.

And I think that’s what we are, we humans — God-in-Density; the Incarnate Evolving All…I think we are One Whole Broken Heart.

And a broken heart doesn’t stop working. On the contrary, it seeks healing — it seeks out love. So the love-that-wounds/betrays/breaks inspires us to find/create/manifest the love-that-heals/transforms/grows. Separation and Connection, Pain and Pleasure, these are literally the warp and woof of the tapestry that is the Dense Plane. And they need each other. They are Ruin and Preservation; both must exist in equal measure, and can only be governed by the human heart.

Because the human heart — broken and healing, always broken always whole, is a direct reflection of the whole-thing-that-we-are-when-we-are-individuated. One whole broken heart.

In this moment, it feels beautiful, in that achingly bittersweet kind of way. One of my favorite forms of beauty.

And I think this is some of the texture of “choosing love in the face of pain”, this experience of all-of-manifestation as one, giant, broken heart, breaking and healing over and over.

I find this understanding and lose it, again and again. Years ago I wrote the following in a blog post; I rediscovered it over the summer and made a meme out of it for the Embodied Experiments facebook page. And today I returned to it, and I think that it’s probably one of the more beautiful prayers I’ve ever prayed:

heartbreak

Happy Earth Day!

Good Planets are Hard to Find, Don't Blow It

Today is Earth Day, 2015.

You will be inundated, today, with posts and emails urging you to hug a tree, plant a tree, sign this or that petition to save the planet, protest fracking and pollution, and probably buy some fancy, earth-friendly product that is on-sale today, because what’s a holiday without a sale, at least in North America?

I’ve decided to join the inundation of Earth Day posts, but in a slightly different direction.  Today, I want to remind you that you have a piece of the planet that is your very own.  A portable piece of Gaia; a little slice of Shakti, as my teacher’s teacher would say.

You have a body, and it is distinct from the planet, but not separate from the planet, just as you are distinct from your body, but not separate from it.

My invitation to you today is to celebrate Earth day, and to include as part of that celebration an outpouring of love to your own skin and bones, whatever that looks like for you.  Maybe it’s about preparing a delicious, wholesome meal for yourself.  Maybe it’s about letting your body move freely through space – dancing or walking.  Maybe it’s reminding your body of its connection to the Larger Body of the Earth; lying on the grass; walking in bare feet.  Maybe your relationship to your body needs some tending; you might consider asking a friend to give you a hug or a massage; you might give yourself a foot rub.  Or make a gratitude list of all the things you’ve never thanked your body for. Or write a letter to one specific part of your body.  The possibilities are endless.

Whatever you do, the invitation is to make it a Love-Fest; a Celebration.  Your body is what sustains your aliveness as an incarnate being, just as the planet is what sustains our aliveness as manifest reality.  So on at least this one day, let’s remember that through our bodies we are directly connected to the planet, and that is so, so amazing.  Let’s remember that having a body is a gift; that the intricacy and complexity of the human form is mind-blowing.  Let’s remember all the pleasure and wisdom that our bodies offer us, and let’s celebrate not only the earth, but also our own embodiment, which is our connection to the earth.

Happy Earth Day.  We inhabit one planet; let’s love it.  We each get one body; how will you choose to love yours today?  Let me know in the comments below!